It’s Thanksgiving -- that time of the year when families come together to share meals and express gratitude. With the pandemic still hanging around, this year’s holiday will be different for all of us. Not for once did I believe a time would come when we will truly show love by staying away from those we love dearly. In a time like this, many of the people we have and hold close are not with us but are instead memories of the past. For me, who is thousands of miles away from my family in Nigeria, this holiday is a time to reflect on the memories -- the good and best times with family -- including my dad. 

I grew up in a close-knit Christian family; my parents gave me a good sense of what it meant to love God and be a Christian. Dad was my greatest advocate and cheerleader -- with him cultural stereotypes did not exist. However, everything changed when Dad’s health declined. I can almost remember all that happened the morning he died: As a senior in college in 2010, I was preparing for my final examination to earn a Bachelor’s in applied chemistry and maybe also earn my brother’s respect as a college graduate! The plan that morning was to get to school then take the public bus to the hospital where Dad had been admitted. Almost immediately, I got a text from my cousin Evans saying, “Hey young woman, Mom wants to see you at MCC (my Aunt’s house).” Then my uncle called and said, “Whatever happens today, you have to be that big girl you have always been.”

You see, nobody prepares for the loss of a loved one, especially not a teenager trying to figure out what life is all about. Losing Dad continues to be my worst nightmare. I thought I had lost the license to dream like every young girl my age. I was scared because I knew his death would expose me to unfriendly experiences. Even as I write, I can’t believe I still struggle with lots of emotions after ten years. I can’t tell you how many times I have picked up the phone to call my dad to tell him about something exciting that has just happened -- only to remember that I won’t be hearing his voice anymore. I could not tell my daddy goodbye -- that pain is one I may never be able to explain, not now and maybe not anytime soon. 

This Thanksgiving, I think of the many families who are struggling with guilt and seeking closure for the times they could not say proper goodbyes and the many family celebrations that will never be the same again. As I watched my family mourn all those years, John 14:16 became my anchor scripture “...I will pray to the father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever” (KJV). The presence of the Comforter reminded me that although the world we live in may be full of pain and grief, our heavenly father -- the one the Bible mentions ‘never sleeps, nor slumbers’ -- would not abandon us in our times of need and comfort. I have found that friend in Jesus, who means everything to me. In Him I found the strength to be grateful for all the memories I shared with Dad. 

So no matter how this year’s Thanksgiving ends, be sure to find something you are grateful for, even if it’s in the past. I hope that you will take this time to reflect on the blessings, opportunities and relationships in your life -- those little things/memories you still have left are worth celebrating. And even if Thanksgiving is painful, remember the promise that we have “another Comforter.”

ABOUT OUR GUEST BLOGGER 

Giftie Umo was born in Nigeria and began her career as a teacher after earning her Bachelor's degree in applied chemistry. This experience and growing up a pastor’s kid stirred her passion to make an impact on the lives of girls in her community. In 2018, she was selected to attend the Urban Promise International School of Entrepreneurial Leadership in the U.S. and received her M.A degree in organizational leadership from Eastern University. Giftie created and launched Girls Leading Africa, a nonprofit in Odukpani, Nigeria, to provide girls and teenage mothers, especially those who have experienced abuse, access to quality education and vocational and interpersonal skills. Due to Covid-19, she is currently pursuing further training and mentorship relevant to her program in the U.S. prior to returning home.

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