About a decade ago, I, a white mother, was sitting on the bleachers at a school basketball game and chatting with one of the other mothers who is black. She mentioned that her son wanted to wear braids in his hair but she could not allow it. When I asked her why, she said it was very important that he not look like a “thug” because then he could be viewed as more intimidating by others including the police. With braids, he would be judged as a potential threat and perhaps be in more danger. I was blown away. I had never considered what it was like to be black. I had never considered fearing what my sons dressed like or how they wore their hair. 

That was the moment I began to realize that our lives were not the same. That was the moment I began a VERY SLOW journey of understanding white privilege (even though I didn’t know those words back then.) And no, I am definitely not saying I have it all figured out. 

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther King

I have been haunted by this quote in recent weeks and felt certain that the Holy Spirit was directing me to use this platform to talk about racism. I felt called to NOT BE SILENT-however, I must confess, I also feel inadequate for the task. When it was my turn to blog, it was suggested that I talk about the Holy Spirit in conjunction with our church’s teaching this summer, so I felt torn. And then I realized the two are totally related. We need the Holy Spirit to navigate our conversations and actions involving racism in America. The Holy Spirit can convict us, change us, and pray for us.

Jesus said  “And when he (the Holy Spirit) comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment:” John 16:8

For those of us who are white, we need Him to speak deep into our souls-to uncover what has long been hidden, rationalized, and denied. We need to be listening!  We need to humble ourselves before a holy and loving God and ask him to show us where we have not loved. “You shall love your neighbor as yourself ...  But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors.” (James 2:8-9). We need to ask God how we have sinned against Him by not caring about the plight of our black or brown sisters and brothers.  We need to be open to examining our hearts and our actions before Him. 

I believe many of us hold sin in our hearts about people of color, sometimes without even realizing it.  In fact, the Holy Spirit has pointed out that my NOT thinking about racism and POC’s experiences is in itself a sin. I have been too quick to assume that everyone has the same opportunities in this country and I have not given enough mental consideration to the matter. It is not being Christ-like not to care. 

It is the Holy Spirit who convicts us of sin. It is when we humbly place ourselves before a Holy God that He can speak. Our brothers and sisters who are black and brown don’t have the luxury to just not think about racism. One  fear I have is that like with the quarantine, we as white Americans will get weary of the discussion about racism and just want to move on. We must beware not to quench the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives. It is possible for us to ignore Him when he convicts us of sin. We have to be willing to be humbled as He shows us the error of our ways. We can’t shut the Holy Spirit out of this conversation. Ask God to show you where you have been hardhearted. Ask Him to show you where you have not loved. 

Once the Holy Spirit convicts us and points out our sins of both commission and omission, we can then humbly submit to the process of becoming more like Christ.  On the day that George Floyd was killed, I cried several times as I watched the cold hearted way he was murdered. I felt like the Holy Spirit held my eyes on that train wreck of a video that I wanted to avoid. I felt that He said it is time to start caring about others in a new way. I believe he challenged me “to do justice, love mercy and walk humbly.” (Micah 6:8). Later, in the week, I overheard someone make a racist comment, and I felt it to my core. I felt the Holy Spirit prod me to say something. I can no longer look the other way.  The Holy Spirit will not only show us where we have been wrong, He’ll help us make it right. When we allow the Holy Spirit to lead in our lives, we will be led to become more like Christ in his love. In the “Love Chapter” (1 Corinthians 13) Paul says that, regardless of your spiritual gifts, regardless of what you do, if you don’t have love it means nothing. It is the Holy Spirit that fills us with God’s love. 

Another way the Holy Spirit relates to the racial unrest is that He is the one that prays for us when we don’t know what to say. (Romans 8:26-27). I don’t have the right words for what is going on in the world around me but the Spirit does. 

The Holy Spirit is all knowing; He can lead the way on this. Prayer is the most important thing we can do. We must pray that God would show us our part- that he would prepare our heart for repentance. We must pray for our black and brown sisters and brothers. We must pray for true equality because God is not a God of partiality or favoritism! (Romans 2:11).

Because I have struggled to have words to put to the racial unrest in our country right now, I have found this prayer helpful in this time: 

“Grant, O God, that your holy and life-giving Spirit may so move every human heart (and especially the hearts of the people of this land), that barriers which divide us may crumble, suspicions disappear, and hatreds cease; that our divisions being healed, we may live in justice and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.” The Book of Common Prayer, p. 823.

ABOUT OUR BLOGGER 

Bonnie Kotler loves to laugh and considers laughter as the best medicine. (Psalm 126:2) She is a licensed professional counselor at The Peacemaker Center  and has her own private practice, True North Counseling. Bonnie and her husband, Mitch, have two daughters, three sons, four grandchildren and three grand-puppies.

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