The supervisor picking a co-worker instead of you for the new project.

Your sibling getting more attention.

Not being included by one of your friends.

Being overlooked because of the color of your skin.

Favoritism looks different for all of us. Some of us feel this as a slight by our loved ones or peers. Others have felt the effects of systemic racism on themselves, their family, and friends for their entire life.

The Bible is clear. Favoritism is a sin.

“But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.” James 2:9

“For there is no favoritism with God.” Romans 2:11

“Now I truly understand that God doesn’t show favoritism.” Acts 10:34

I’m thankful the Lord points out and reminds us in Scripture that this is not how we should be living. It really hurts to not be favored. My oldest daughters were trying to figure out who is the favorite of my husband and who is my favorite in our family. How sad that they even thought there was some truth to this in our hearts. Mia, my second born, chimed in saying, “I am mommy’s favorite and Eden is daddy’s favorite.” (Plus, I have three other kids!) This is not true, but it made me realize we needed to establish love above all else and talk and act in a way that each child knows how loved she/he is. I did not want them dwelling on this, even if it was lighthearted jest.

I am also thankful that we are having conversations around the country and in our church about systemic racism. For some this was a wakeup call to the reality that many of our brothers and sisters of color have been living for years. I pray this dialogue continues, and we make ourselves uncomfortable asking what we can do to change our hearts and the bias that occurs in us and around us. I encourage all of you to check out Willowdale Chapel’s resources and join groups like www.BetheBridge.com on Facebook or Instagram. I have learned so much by listening these past few months and praying for God to remove from me any darkness in my heart. 

Friends, this is not an easy topic. My Thursday night Bible study has engaged in direct dialogue about racism each of the past few weeks. We talk about the biases that some of the ladies in our group have experienced over the years, whether it is the fear of them or their family being pulled over by police or being overlooked for an opportunity. I’ve tried to take that discussion to my family too. How heartbreaking it has been to explain to our kids that this occurs. I remember them asking, “Why?” And showing them a video on how systemic racism works. It really opened their eyes to the privilege that they have just based on the color of their white skin.

Favoritism also creeps in when we aren’t paying close attention to how we love our friends and family. Let us act in love abundantly to all. Even those that aren’t as easy to love. Or when it isn’t as convenient. Or it contradicts how we were raised. Let us welcome the Holy Spirit in and make room for the Fruit of the Spirit to grow in our lives so that our love resembles our Savior. 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love,

joy, peace, patience, kindness,

goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,

and self-control.

Against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

ABOUT OUR BLOGGER

Susan Veenema has been in education for almost 20 years supporting children with disabilities and their families and currently works for the Delaware Department of Education. Susan and her husband, Jeremy, love exploring Chester County.

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