As I think about Thanksgiving and being around friends and family, God brought something to mind. 

I can be loud. I can be an ‘overtaker’ of conversation and attention. I don’t mean to be. It’s usually not on purpose, but it’s my tendency. 

And when this happens, it’s easy for me to fall into the thoughts of “Well, this is just me.” “I am who I am. If you don’t like it, sorry (not sorry).” “I’m just being true to myself.” 

But wait a minute. I am who I am? God is the only one who can use “ I am who I am.” as a statement of identity (Exodus 3:14). Who I am is a sinner, saved by grace (Ephesians 2:8). Who I am is a child of God, who also has a personality given to me from God, but who by no means always acts in accordance with God’s Word and standards. I often fall short of His commandment, “Love one another: just as I have loved you, you are to love one another.”  (John 13:34) 

Peter had a fiery personality which God used to bring many to Christ, but it also led him into some trouble. He denied knowing Christ three times, cut a man’s ear off and could generally be reckless and impulsive. Jesus didn’t excuse this behavior because “Oh, that’s just Peter being Peter.” He addressed it and Peter was better for it. Peter needed to be held accountable and even if he didn’t see his faults, Jesus showed them to him. 

Below are a few points to help us out in a world that shouts that being true to ourselves is the most important thing. 

1. Have wisdom: I am all for being authentic, vulnerable, and steady in word and deed across circumstances. The problem is that we can easily rationalize speaking the truth in love as an excuse to sin. Every situation needs discernment and wisdom. Is it ok for me to voice my opinion in a meeting at work? Absolutely. Is it ok to yell and rant and run over people with that opinion? By the world’s standards, maybe. But by God’s standards, I don’t think so. Can I justify those actions by saying, “I was just being myself. I don’t have a filter. Deal with it?” No. 

Ladies, we need filters! God gives us filters as wisdom. A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) There is a time to speak and a time to be quiet. (Ecclesiastes 3:7) A time for action and a time for reflective thought. And when we don’t use wisdom and instead push ahead with the tendencies of our personalities, that can lead us to sin. Maybe that means gossiping, being rude/inconsiderate, losing tempers, using sarcasm, overtaking conversations or not allowing others to speak. Or maybe the opposite: shutting down, being passive-aggressive, or refusing to cooperate. 

1. Prioritize prayer: We need to ask for God’s help to see where we’ve messed up, when to ask for forgiveness, and how to turn from our sinful behavior. But let’s be honest, those actions still happen. We are not perfect. We will mess up because our personalities -- while they may have many positive attributes -- are bent toward sin. Because the “me just being me” mentality can hurt and demean and cause others to stumble. When that happens, we need to not be defensive or prideful. We need to apologize to God, for our mistakes, and possibly to others who were affected by our actions or inaction. 

2. Take time to reflect: When I say apologize, I don’t mean superficial apologies or apologies out of anxiety or people pleasing. There are far too many of those. The apology I’m talking about is a sincere, thought-out, prayed-about reflection of actions and heart. “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart.” (Psalm 51:17)

3. Take responsibility: After we ask God to help us reflect internally, we need to take responsibility for our actions (or inaction) by asking for forgiveness. This is an “I’m sorry for….” Not an “I’m sorry, but…” 

We are not apologizing for our existence or who God made us to be. We are apologizing because who we are isn’t perfect. We sin and need forgiveness. We need to also extend grace and forgiveness when someone else asks for it. “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

When we do this, others will notice. Together, we can become an authentic community known for sincere apologies and grace-filled forgiveness. 

ABOUT OUR BLOGGER

Dani Rupp grew up in a small town in Ohio and is a true Buckeye fan, though she tries not to be obnoxious about it. In 2011 she came to PA to earn her Master of Social Work degree. After graduation Dani accepted a position as a mental health therapist for children and adolescents in Coatesville. She was a nanny for several years as well. During that time she lived in Kennett Square and attended Willowdale Chapel. She recently returned from South Asia where she learned to tolerate spicy food and cross the roads without being hit, as well as volunteered with International Justice Mission in their Aftercare Department. In her free time, Dani enjoys going on mission trips/traveling,  running, reading, and connecting with loved ones—preferably over coffee and a sweet treat.

Back by popular demand are our outdoor Christmas caroling events!

Click here for information on the Jennersville campus event on Dec. 5 or here for the Kennett campus event on Dec. 12.