This week I was called to task about an admittedly thoughtless comment I made about a year ago. It was not difficult for me to see how insensitive my comment was.  I completely owned my offensive words and made no excuses. The person rejected my apology and chose to hold onto the hurt. Of course, I was disappointed by their response and wanted to beat myself up over it -- after all, I had been wrong! 

As I prayed and confessed this incident, I felt like God was showing me not only that I should choose my words more carefully but also something new. I think God was teaching me about taking offense. In this case, the person heard a carelessly chosen word and overlooked all else. They saw the comment through a lens of affront. 

God led me to consider when I choose to be offended by others. When do I choose to nurture hurt instead of giving grace? It is so easy to think only of ourselves when we are hurt. The Bible indicates this is true when Paul quotes Jesus in Romans 12 “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them… Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all… If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.“ (Romans 12:14,18).

As I prayed, I thought about the question that I have been teaching my grandchildren: WWJD: What Would Jesus Do? (So old school, right?)

There is a beautiful picture of God’s love demonstrated at the cross that I think we often overlook. It is one that is applicable to us to show how we should live. Jesus displayed his love for sinful man in his actions and attitudes for those around him at the cross. He showed the character and compassion of God. 

Jesus had lies and insults hurled at him, he was mocked, he was spit on and beaten. He was unjustly accused and condemned. All of those things were completely undeserved! How did he respond? We would have excused Jesus for lashing out in that moment, but he didn’t do that. He overlooked the offense and reacted in love.

While hanging on the cross, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34) This is an incredible moment and not one we should read over quickly. After living a completely sinless life -- one in which he was only guilty of preaching, loving, serving, healing and feeding others, he was wrongfully accused. As he faced his own unjust death, he fulfilled his teaching in Matthew 5:44: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” If anyone had a justifiable reason to feel angry and vengeful, it was Jesus but that is not how he chose to respond. He is not absolving those around him from their sin or their responsibility for his death.  However, in his compassion, he realized that they didn’t fully comprehend what they were doing.  He was not vindictive or hateful; he was loving even in this moment. 

I had to sit with this image for a few moments. Jesus modeled for us how to respond when we are treated badly. He showed us that we have a choice in how we react and that we don’t have to nurture the hurt. He showed us that our response should be love, prayer and compassion. Jesus knew what we probably have heard: “hurt people hurt people.”  (Please know that I am not making excuses for my careless word choice, God dealt with me on that -- it is acknowledged, confessed and forgiven.) Please also know that I am in no way suggesting that you allow people to talk down to you or verbally abuse you, but I think we should realize that we have a choice in how we respond to people. I am not talking about abuse but in the everyday moments of life when we feel slighted, when someone says something carelessly or when we get our feelings hurt, we don’t have to stand on our “rights.” We can choose to follow the example that Jesus gave us. We can choose to overlook the offense and pray for the other person.  

This is one way Jesus showed love at the cross but of course there is an even richer, deeper way. Having the power of God, he could have taken himself off that cross, and said, “That’s enough! I’m not dying for you if you are going to treat me this way!” But he did not do that. He knew from the beginning that his mission was to die for us. He loved us so much that he paid the ultimate price. Jesus gave up his life on our behalf. Because Jesus lived a perfect sinless life, since he didn’t have to atone for his own sins, he could pay the penalty for our sins (Hebrews 7:27).  Because of his death, we can be in relationship with a holy God.   

We are totally undeserving of what Christ did for us. People rejected him then and we reject him now -- some completely and some in a thousand “little” ways. Romans 5:8 says it all, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” That’s the way Jesus loves us, regardless that we are without merit. He loves each and every one of us so that all who call on his name can spend eternity with him (John 3:16, Acts 2:21).

Jesus had a choice in how he lived and died. His response to the hatred and insults hurled at him was that he opened his arms wide and died for us. That’s how Jesus responds to being offended. He loves anyway. He blesses and doesn’t curse. 

Tomorrow is Good Friday, the day Jesus died on our behalf. Most of us will never be asked to die like Jesus did, but we are asked to live and love like him. We have opportunities everyday to sacrificially love others. We have opportunities to choose love over offense. We have opportunities to remember what Jesus did and how he lived and ask: 

WWJD?

(Bloggers note: In view of recent events, please KNOW this was not written with racism in mind. I am NOT saying that should be tolerated or overlooked. Jesus' love for ALL is clear. With him there is no “Jew or Greek” (Galatians 3:28).  He loves every tribe and nation (Revelation 7:9). “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.” 1 John 4:20)

ABOUT OUR BLOGGER 

Bonnie Kotler loves to laugh and considers laughter as the best medicine. (Psalm 126:2) She is a licensed professional counselor at The Peacemaker Center and has her own private practice, True North Counseling. Bonnie and her husband, Mitch, have two daughters, three sons, five grandchildren, a 125-pound mastiff and three grand-puppies.

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