Your Words Matter
“Her moods are very unpredictable. She’s so bipolar.”
“I like my shoes all lined up. I’m OCD.”
“Did you see how she was acting? Crazy!”
“They didn’t have my favorite ice cream flavor. How depressing.”
“That show is super suspenseful. I get so much anxiety.”
These are a few examples of how mental health diagnoses are used in everyday language. Let me just preface this by explaining that I do not mean to be judgmental or critical. I’m guilty of this too. If I had a dollar for every time I put my foot in my mouth, tried to make a joke in an uncomfortable moment or unintentionally offended someone, I’d have a much nicer car, that’s for sure! In this world where culture tells us that everything we say needs to be politically correct, it’s hard to know what is considered allowed to be said and what’s not. It’s a lot of pressure but as this is Mental Health Awareness Month, I do want to bring attention to it and consider what the Bible has to say about it.
When people and the media use mental health terminology to describe everyday occurrences, express feelings and explain behavior or quirks, it cheapens and invalidates the experience of those who really do have that mental illness. And I understand why. Mental illness is hard to talk about. It’s easier to make a joke or use those terms flippantly so that they lose some of their powerful, real, but uncomfortable, meanings.
I know that everyone is different and has a different perspective. Some people aren’t offended by the phrases above. Some who struggle with these disorders use them to describe themselves. Some of those statements might really be true for that person. It’s not up for me to judge what someone is dealing with, so I’m not saying you should call people out when they use this type of language. People can be on a whole spectrum of where they are mental health-wise. You don’t have to have a clinical diagnosis to use some of these terms. It’s not a special club that only if it’s ‘bad enough’ can you claim that diagnosis.
So, I can’t speak for everyone, but I can say as a mental health professional, I have seen how these words have hurt those I work with. As someone who struggles from mental illness, I can attest that I have been affected by them as well.
Take Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), for example. People use that term all the time to describe someone who likes things a certain way and to explain quirks or preferences. But did you know that there are at least 12 different types of OCD? Only a few of them have to do with cleanliness or order.
I have OCD and I know people who do as well. It can be debilitating. For me, it’s intrusive thoughts, a constantly spinning mind, irrational fears. I’m always convinced that I did something wrong and need to check with someone for reassurance. I never know when something might trigger me. I can’t trust my brain or my thoughts. It’s exhausting. I have to be vigilant about a whole host of things -- nutrition, medication, exercise and therapy, just to stay within a range that allows me to function in life. I am grateful for the resources, support and God’s strength and grace that gets me through each day. But it’s hard.
I don’t share that for pity but to give you a glimpse into what OCD can really be like. Hopefully it will help you to understand a bit of how it could make another person feel when someone uses it in a joking or casual way.
This has been true with my younger brother. He used the term OCD to describe his desire to see things neat and orderly, but after learning about how OCD affected me, he cut it out of his vocabulary. Not because he felt shamed by using the phrase "OCD" but because he saw how serious it could be and wanted to respect those who really struggle with it day to day. So let's be wise with our words.
As Christians, we should be passionate about using language that builds up and shows the love of Christ to all around us. We can do this by removing words and phrases that could be hurtful or easily misunderstood by others. The Bible is full of examples of how our words matter. Here are just a few:
“A gentle tongue is a tree of life…” Proverbs 15:4
“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Proverbs 16:24
“The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.” Proverbs 18:4
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29
“But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ…” 2 Corinthians 2:14-15
I love the imagery in these verses. I encourage you to write one of these verses, or one of the many others found in Scripture, and put it somewhere you see often. Or just take one of the images from the verse to remember and meditate on to remind you that your words matter.
We can’t control what other people say, but with God’s help, we can control what we say and what terms we use when describing a situation, person or feeling. You never know what someone is going through, and mental illness is already difficult to talk about -- even more so when people are laughing and joking about it.
We have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer we who live, but Christ who lives in us (Gal 2:20), so let us be people who honor Christ in the way we speak. Let’s choose words that build up, that are sweet honeycomb, a bubbling brook, a pleasing aroma. Choose to use your words to point people to Christ.
ABOUT OUR BLOGGER
Danielle (Dani) Rupp grew up in a small town in Ohio and is a true Buckeye fan, though she tries not to be obnoxious about it. In 2011 she came to Pennsylvania to earn her Master of Social Work degree. Dani returned last year from South Asia, where she volunteered with International Justice Mission, learned to tolerate spicy food and cross the roads without being hit.
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