It’s 4th of July weekend, and many of us get an extra day off on Monday. Some of us are packing up our beach stuff, cooler, and lawn chairs for a long weekend away or possibly planning a backyard barbecue to celebrate Independence Day. 

In this context, I’ve been thinking a lot about the word independence. According to Merriam Webster independence means 1) not subject to control by others (as in the Colonies were no longer ruled by England) or 2) not requiring or relying on something else,  not contingent. It is this second definition I have been pondering. I’ve been thinking that I often live my Christian life independently — not relying on God. 

I tend to handle difficult situations or events in my life in one of two ways. Sometimes when I am going through a hard time, I tend to white knuckle through it. I may start my day with time with the Lord — asking him to handle the situation, but then from the moment I get up from my chair, I go it alone, facing the situation independently. I don’t rely on God to get me through. I push through in my own self-reliance and then when I finally get clear of the situation, I look back and see how God had been working. This can be so overwhelming and exhausting. In retrospect, I can always see his hand in it but “Oh Man! The journey was tough!!”

Oddly, in the even more difficult moments of life, (death of a loved one, big disappointments, or crippling fear), when things are clearly and truly out of my control, I am more fully dependent on Christ. Sometimes, I know from the beginning that I will not get through a situation on my own. These situations, even in their pain, are beautiful. God shows up so big when you let him. When I am desperate, when I am truly humbly on my knees before him, when I acknowledge that I can’t fix a situation on my own, this is when God is the most real and rich to me. It is when I am fully dependent on him that he feels the most present. 

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:4-5.

I recently got some very difficult news from a family member that I found heartbreaking. For a few days, I was ruminating on this information constantly. I was worrying and obsessing about it and thinking about how to influence/change the situation. After a few sleepless nights, I finally decided to turn it over to God. When I gave it to God, I heard him say that I was approaching it all wrong and that I should be praying about the situation completely differently. Since I stopped trying to handle it on my own and surrendered the situation and myself to God, I’ve had more peace about it. When I acknowledge I can’t do it all alone, and instead depend on him, only then do I experience peace even in difficult situations. 

I just had an experience with my youngest granddaughter that I think illustrates this point. We were out on a boat together and the boat changed from a slow putter to going quite fast. I was holding her tightly so she wouldn’t fall. As the boat accelerated, she reached her little arm up and grasped me tightly around my neck. It is normal on the boat to watch her closely and hold onto her to protect her, but in that moment, she clung to me for safety. The thought occurred to me that it was an illustration of my relationship with Jesus. He is always watching out for me and holding me in his hands to protect me but I often don’t cling to him. Like my 2-year-old granddaughter who loves to tell us “I can do it myself”, I often try to be independent when actually being dependent on him is the best way to be. 

In the Message, the same verse from John 15 says, “Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you.” 

This is where we want to live, at home with Christ, fully dependent on him. 

So on this 4th of July weekend when you see the fireworks, remind yourself to have a Happy Dependence Day! It’s not always easy to let go of what we perceive as control, but it is always worth it. Cling to the one who always has your best interest in mind. 

ABOUT OUR BLOGGER 

Bonnie Kotler loves to laugh and considers laughter as the best medicine. (Psalm 126:2) She is a licensed professional counselor at The Peacemaker Center and has her own private practice, True North Counseling. Bonnie and her husband, Mitch, have two daughters, three sons, five grandchildren, a 125-pound mastiff and three grand-puppies.

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