A few months back, I shared with you that I was part of a summer study about a book called “Find Your People” by Jennie Allen. We read the book and met regularly to talk through discussion questions. I quickly realized and learned from the book that creating friendships and developing intimacy with others truly required intentionality. I was not going to all of a sudden have a group of friends reach out to me, checking in on my life. 

The author did some research and shared that we all have space for about 2-5 people in our inner circle. We may have other friends that we are close to as well, but those inner circle friends are who we drop in on, cry ugly tears with at any hour, and who will be by our side through the rough seasons. 

But how do we get friendships like that? We work on it. And it will probably be awkward! 

Ladies, we are all longing for deep friendship. Don’t shy away from asking someone to coffee or dinner. Have them over at your house, even if it’s a mess. Get around a table making memories and starting conversation. Jennie Allen suggests the key reason for our loneliness is we give up too easily. She tells us it takes time to develop friendships, and we need to log hours. How can we log hours if we are living isolated? Put yourself out there! 

I started with a simple text to a few women stating that I was looking for something deeper and wanted friendships to help grow me in Jesus. I was so nervous to send out the text message even though I knew each of the women. When they did not respond right away, I even got embarrassed. But then, guess what? They all said yes when I invited them over to my house.

We are not meant to do this journey alone. If you're lonely, you are not alone in your feelings. We have a world of media users that scroll the internet looking for relationships. I believe we have almost exchanged some of our socialization that 10 years ago would have happened in person for Instagram or Facebook. Let’s change that around! We were made for community. 

And the good news is at Willowdale Chapel, there are so many incredible women for you to get to know. 

Don’t know where to start? Join a Bible study. Stick around after church and introduce yourself to others. I would suggest reaching out to someone you already know at church to help you get connected. There are others that feel the same way and are longing to be more connected. Volunteer. Our church is looking for individuals to serve. Three of the women who came to my house that night I knew from a ministry I’m involved in at Willowdale. 

Please remember you are not alone and you are loved. This community is incredible and shares one common bond: the love of Jesus. His love is so deep that it covers all the aspects we want to hide from others and shines bright our greatest gifts we were meant to give away. Trust Him. He loves His daughter and wants what’s best for you. 

ABOUT OUR BLOGGER

Susan Veenema and her husband, Jeremy, love exploring Chester County with their two older biological daughters and three adopted children. Susan has been in education for almost 20 years supporting children with disabilities and their families.

She currently works at the Department of Education. One of her greatest joys is leading Thursday night women's Bible study and her couples community group.

People are her passion. She loves to read, write and study everything from history to social sciences to the early church. You'll always find her trusty German Shorthaired Pointer by her side.