When I first learned that the Fruit of the Spirit I was to write this blog about was ‘kindness,’ I inwardly groaned. Kindness is such a generic word, like ‘nice.’ It gets used all the time, but it’s not specific. On the other hand, if it is listed in the Fruit of the Spirit, it must be important. So over the last few weeks as I’ve pondered what to write about, I was reminded of the many times I have been the recipient of kindness and how it made all the difference in the world.
For example: It was a cold, gray, drizzly day in February. I was rushing around, trying to fit in more errands than I had time for before work in the afternoon and later picking up my sister and brother-in-law at the airport. I parked on a main street, already thinking ahead to my next stop and calculating if I could squeeze my car in. I glanced out my window and didn’t see any vehicles approaching. I turned to the passenger seat to grab my phone as I opened the driver side door…directly into another vehicle.
The other driver pulled over in front of me, and I got out of my car to survey the damage. (We were both ok and the cars were overall ok, but had some damage.) As she got out of her car and walked through the rain to talk with me, I was prepared for her anger. I had been careless. I was prepared for frustration and impatience as this was going to hold up her day. I had been the cause of extra stress for her. Not to mention the weather was miserable. It had been a hard few months and anticipating her justified emotions spiked my anxiety.
But she calmly approached me and said she would call in the accident. She assured me everything was ok and accidents happen. She was so understanding and patient the whole time. And her kindness in not treating me as I deserved was my undoing as all the emotions I’d been holding in came streaming out of my eyes. I kept apologizing; first for the accident, and then for the tears I could not get to stop, trying to explain that it was not like me to be a damsel in distress, that I was not trying to elicit sympathy from her. I just honestly could not regain control. (And obviously more was going on with me than just the accident…but that’s a whole other post, or book…). I already felt guilty for what had happened, and while she had every right to add on to that guilt, she didn’t.
Kindness. Undeserved. From a stranger.
Kindness. It’s a simple word. The secular world would readily agree that we need more of it. It’s an easy catchphrase: “Be kind.” Many may think that kindness will get them into Heaven.
As Christians, we are called to a higher standard: our reason for kindness is to glorify God and to point people to Him. Kindness does not earn us salvation. We are kind because God loves us and we love him, and out of that pours love for others. The Bible again and again points us to the importance of kindness.
Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
Galatians 6:10 "So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith."
Hebrews 13:2 "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."
Proverbs 16:24 “Gracious words are like honeycomb — sweetness to the soul and healthy to the body.”
Matthew 25: 31-46 Jesus reminds the disciples that whenever they give food to the hungry, drink to the thirsty, shelter to the homeless, clothing to the naked, or visit the sick and imprisoned, they do it for him.
Kindness in the world draws on inner strength and a sense of moral duty. Thankfully, as Christians, we don’t have to rely on our own strength to be kind. We have God’s help. Which is a good thing, because it’s hard. Emotions derail us. Needing to be right takes center stage. “To do” lists become our guide and focus.
And then there’s having the right motivation. Acting in a kind manner but inside feeling bitter and angry; showing kindness so others will see and be impressed or because it makes us feel good or to earn enough “good points;” being kind to get something in return; hiding behind a false “kindness” to avoid conflict, to keep the peace - these are all false motivations that don’t demonstrate true kindness. (FYI: We can still disagree and have different opinions while being kind.)
So how do we slow down and make time for kindness, and how do we do that in a way that is authentic? Here’s a quick acronym to keep in mind. (I only did KIND because, let’s be honest, remembering four letters is easier than eight!)
Keep in prayer: We can do nothing on our own. We draw strength from Christ to be kind, even when it’s hard. We must depend on God and use Christ as our model. Without anchoring ourselves to the reason for our kindness, we will easily be pulled into the waves of our days, our problems, our emotions. To stay the course, we need to be in prayer to help us see people who need a kind word, or to help us to be kind to those in our lives who are hard to love. Prayer sets us up to be kind, even when things don’t go our way -- like a careless woman opening her car door into traffic and hitting your car…
Intentional Acts: Being kind takes intention. Maybe that’s challenging yourself each day to say something kind to a difficult co-worker. Or maybe it’s trying to find small acts of kindness each day that serve strangers. As you pray, plan exactly how you will be intentional in being kind that day. And God might surprise you with who he puts on your path.
Notice others/issues: We are often unaware of what or who is around us. There are many reasons for this, but in order to be kind, we must take the time to notice others. We cannot be kind to those who we don’t even see. And along with that, we need to be aware of issues that might be affecting those in our community. That means being informed about what is going on in the world -- the pandemic, racism, immigration issues etc. When we are better educated, we can be more specific in how we are kind as it pertains to what someone might be experiencing.
Determine motivation: As you pray and go throughout your day, examine your motivations for being kind. We all struggle with wrong motivations, sometimes not even realizing it until after the fact. So take the time to self-examine and ask God for help to have pure intentions as you move forward with acts of kindness.
So yes, kindness seems like a bland word, a cop-out answer when asked to describe someone. But in reality genuine kindness is something profound, complex and hard to find. As we move forward may we make every effort to keep in prayer, intentionally act, notice others and determine motivations, not to bring ourselves glory, but to glorify our Father, who has been so, so kind to us.
ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Danielle (Dani) Rupp grew up in a small town in Ohio and is a true Buckeye fan, though she tries not to be obnoxious about it. In 2011 she came to Pennsylvania to earn her Master of Social Work degree. Dani just returned from South Asia, where she volunteered with International Justice Mission, learned to tolerate spicy food and cross the roads without being hit.
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