When you imagine God looking at you, what expression do you see on His face?”
This is one of the hardest questions I’ve ever been asked, but not because it was hard for me to answer. It was actually too easy for me to answer, which is what made it so hard.
When I hear “God,” my mind automatically goes to God the Father. I know Jesus and the Holy Spirit are God, too; but for some reason the Father has always been my default. And whenever I picture the Father, I see this older man staring down at me, His arms crossed and His head shaking, a mixture of frustration and disappointment on His face.
How is it that I can read verses like “I have loved you with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3), “I will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17), “The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love” (Psalm 103:8), “His perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18) over and over again — and even get one of them tattooed on my body — and yet it’s still so hard for me to believe that I could actually bring a smile to God’s face?
I think part of it comes from the feeling that I’m not doing enough, and He knows it. I’m not doing enough good works, I’m not praying enough, I’m not reading my Bible enough. If I’m being honest, I think it just shows that sometimes, I don’t really believe that the cross is enough.
So recently I was watching a TV show with my friend. It’s not a Christian show, but the main character to me is very much a Christ figure. He is constantly sacrificing his own safety and well-being for the people he loves, to the point of being willing to die for them — even when it seems like they’ve done nothing to deserve it.
In one episode, this character reunites with his long lost daughter, who he hasn’t seen since she was a baby. When he sees her for the first time and realizes who she is, the look on his face is heartbreaking in the best way. It looks like it’s taking everything in him to keep from breaking down and crying tears of joy. He is so overwhelmed with happiness to see his child.
The thing is, this girl has done absolutely nothing to earn her father’s love except be his daughter. The only thing she did was show up, and the only thing he cares about is that she is right there in front of him. It doesn’t matter what she’s done or hasn’t done. He loves her because she belongs to him. You can tell from the way he looks at her that he is already willing to die for her.
This is how I want to imagine God’s expression when He sees me.
When I’m tempted to think that I haven’t done enough for God to earn anything but a frown, I will remember the look of pure love on this fictional father’s face. If that’s a reflection of the joy that a daughter brings to her flawed, human father, how much more joy must I bring to my perfect, heavenly Father — the one who knew me before I was born and knows the number of hairs on my head, who loved me so much that He sacrificed His own child to bring me back home to him?
As hard as it is for me to imagine, I choose to believe that when God sees me — which is all the time, every day — He feels joy. Of course there are times when He weeps with me or feels righteous anger on my behalf or even disciplines me out of love, but if I trust what the Scriptures tell me about my Father’s heart, then I can take comfort in the fact that His default expression toward me is one of delight.
It’s a smile, the kind that lights up an entire world with how big and bright it is. The kind I never want to look away from. The kind that makes me smile back.
(In case you didn’t know — He’s smiling at you, too.)
ABOUT OUR BLOGGER
Kati Lynn Davis grew up in Chester County. After a brief stay on the other side of Pennsylvania to earn a writing degree from the University of Pittsburgh, she returned to the area and got a job working for a local library. When she isn’t writing, Kati enjoys reading, drawing, watching movies (especially animated ones!), drinking bubble tea, hanging out with her family cat, and going for very slow runs.
Kati is pretty sure she’s an Enneagram 4 but is constantly having an identity crisis over it, so thankfully she’s learning to root her sense of self in Jesus.
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