To some, February 14 is a dreaded day! All the hearts, flowers, chocolates, and romance in the air is a harsh reminder of dreams of love that have not yet materialized or of a lost love. To some it might be a reminder of a love who has passed away. This Valentine’s Day, let’s celebrate the gal pals that enhance our lives! As I always say, your husband or boyfriend can be your best friend, but he can’t be your best girlfriend!
Descriptive:
I have been a part of a group of five women for more than 33 years. We began meeting after a women’s retreat challenged us to begin a group to establish community and accountability. I was already close friends with two of the women, but the other two women were chosen due to our geography. Decades later, these women have been a lifeline in my life. They have buoyed me up through thick and thin. There is depth and richness to female friendships that cannot be outdone.
We were named the “Bible Wenches” (now the BWs) by one of our husbands decades ago and the name has stuck. (Merriam Webster defines wench as young woman – and I‘m going with that!)
When we began meeting we were young moms. At first we met weekly for Bible study or book studies and prayer. We studied a little and laughed a lot. We also cried a lot. We shared the ups and downs of friendships, careers, family, parenting, marriage, and aging parents with one another. We shared our hearts and lives as we pointed each other to Jesus.
We have also made our share of mistakes with one another. There were times when we hurt each other by judging one another’s choices in the name of accountability. Sometimes we didn’t listen like we should and sometimes we said too much. Sometimes we didn’t respect our differences in life – both in parenting and in marriages.
We learned that friendship is about commitment. We learned that it was better to forgive than to unfollow each other (as if that were a thing back then!). The constant in our friendship, the core that held us together, was Jesus. We loved him and wanted him to be the center of our friendship. We wanted to keep the main thing (Jesus), the main thing.
These women have modeled faithfulness. We have made time for each other across the years that has now spanned into decades. I haven’t lived in the same state with them for more than 25 years and yet our friendship remains strong. I know that whatever is happening in my life, wherever I am, I can count on them to encourage and pray for me and I for them. These days we try to get away for a weekend a year and maybe a dinner or two annually, but the text thread is constant. Some of us see each other more than others, but there is no jealousy or strife. We all know that the group is there when you need it.
Prayer has been the backbone of our group. All together, we have 20 children and now 29 (and counting) grandchildren between us. Our children know they have been prayed over for their entire lives by the BWs. We have loved each other by loving our families and praying for them even though, if I’m honest, I barely know some of their children. (You don’t have to know someone to pray for them!) We have danced at our children’s weddings together. We have rejoiced over grandchildren. We have cried at parents’ funerals. It is important to have people with whom you walk your journey.
Prescriptive:
This Galentine’s day I want to encourage you to go after female friendship and to think about starting a group like this. You don’t have to be best friends (in the beginning); you have to want to have deep relationships based on Christ. Every group isn’t forever, and you can’t always tell what will last. I would not have foreseen that the BWs would be life long friendships. Maybe your group will only be for a season, and that is ok too.
Don’t wait to be invited, invite 2-3 women to get together and see where it goes from there. Give them your vision. Weekly seems like a big ask in today’s world, but every other week or even monthly would be enough if you are faithful and committed to the group. You can zoom or text in between face-to-face meetings.
I have another group in Pennsylvania that meets roughly once a month, and this group too has been a huge blessing. These women are my faithful prayer partners as well. Together we pray for long-awaited unanswered prayers – the kind that break your heart. They have encouraged and sustained me in prayer through periods of hopelessness and periods of fear. And again, I would say that these three women would not have been people I would have guessed would become such dear friends. You don’t know who God has in store for you in the area of friendship. But you must be willing to try. I think the secret to these groups is that they are Christ centered, prayer focused, and full of grace, forgiveness and faithfulness.
God created us for community. At his core, God is a community of three in one – Father, Son and Spirit. We are relational beings at our core as well. I encourage you to go after it!
A few verses to consider:
We were filled with laughter, and we sang for joy. And the other nations said, ‘What amazing things the Lord has done for them.’ Psalm 126:2
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. Ephesians 4:2-6
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10;24-25
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16
Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash
ABOUT OUR BLOGGER
Bonnie and her husband Mitch have two daughters, three sons, four grandchildren and three grand-puppies. She was a stay-at- home mom for many years before re-entering the workforce after receiving her M.S. in Counseling and Human Relations from Villanova University. She is a licensed professional counselor at The Peacemaker Center and her own private practice, True North Counseling. Bonnie has been on the Willowdale women’s ministry teaching team since 2012. Bible studies have played a key role in her walk as a believer, and in turn, she loves to help other women find their peace with God and grow in their faith. She enjoys writing Bible study materials, reading fiction, spending time with family and doing anything in the sunshine. Bonnie loves to laugh and considers laughter as the best medicine. Psalm 126:2
IF:2022 is a two-day event where women all over the world gather together, get equipped, and discover the next step in their calling: to go and make disciples. The last IF:Gathering reached women in 144 different countries and 6500 different locations. We had over 200 Willowdale Women and friends get inspired by some of the most influential Christian speakers! Click Here to hear Founder Jennie Allen's vision for 2022. This year’s theme is living with resiliency instead of fragility (1 Peter 1:13-16 MSG).
Dates/Times
March 4: 7:15 pm to 10:30 pm
March 5: 10 am to 5 pm
Virtual IF:Gathering registration: $10 (includes video access the weekend of the event) Watch with a friend or gather a small group for a viewing party.
In Person Option: In light of current COVID challenges, we are assessing the in-person option at the Kennett campus. We will make this decision by February 10. Details will follow. (To upgrade to in-person, there will be an additional $20 fee for snacks, lunch, etc.)
REGISTER HERE