A little under a year ago, I wrote a blog about breathing and my struggles with anxiety. As life would have it, I found myself revisiting that same conversation recently – that I was not fully breathing. This time the impact was primarily on my physical health – or at least that was what I thought.
After months of neck and shoulder pain, I decided to see a physical therapist. During the first five minutes of my therapy session, the physical therapist noted that I was not taking full breaths. Apparently, the repeated shallow breathing was not allowing my rib cage to stretch and move properly, which was resulting in the pain I was regularly experiencing. We spent the entire PT session working on various breathing exercises. It seemed like an odd use of my time at that moment, but I did feel instant relief of my symptoms. When my session ended that day, I walked out of the office to my car with my shoulders and neck held comfortably in perfect posture.
Once I got in my car and started driving, I felt a rush of emotion come over me and I immediately started crying – not just a few tears, but crying crying.
I was clearly overwhelmed. It took me a few moments to realize that these tears were the result of so many things. First, I didn’t realize how much being in constant pain was impacting me. The lack of pain for the first time in at least six months was a complex feeling of joy, comfort, and frustration that I hadn’t tried this option sooner. Second, these tears were a release. An emotional release that I did not know I needed.
Mental health, particularly depression and anxiety, can be sneaky. When you have lived with them for as long as I have, it becomes a part of you in a way that I can’t explain. Sometimes my “normal” can be so distorted, I don’t even realize things are off until something happens that triggers a release. In this case, once my physical pain was released, it allowed me to feel the mental pain and release that too. Sometimes when I have bottled up emotions, they come out at random times. This has happened over things as simple as not being able to find a match to a sock. Something seemingly small triggers an over-the-top reaction, which is inevitably my body’s way of releasing pent up emotions and negative energy.
As I reflect on the situation, I can’t help but think of where God was in all of this. I know He is ever-present, but this was not something I had offered to Him and prayed about. It felt “small” to me in the grand scheme of things – just a little neck pain. As it turns out, it was a lot more than that. Regardless, I should have given it to God. He wants to hear from us, for the big things, the little things, and the little things that turn into big things without us even realizing it. No matter how big or small something feels, God is here for us. As Psalm 46: 1-7 reads:
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Next month is Mental Health Awareness Month. I urge you to explore your mental health needs before you hit a critical stage. Just like I did not realize how much my physical pain was impacting me and my mental health, maybe there is a secondary factor affecting your mental health. Consider the challenges in your life, no matter how seemingly small they may be, and offer them to God. Ask Him to guide you in facing these difficult times and/or situations. Pray that He supports you and helps you seek the assistance you need to release yourself of your pain. In celebration of Mental Health Awareness Month, our next month of blogs will focus on various aspects of mental health. We hope you can find comfort and solace in our words, or at the very least, you feel less alone in your struggles.
ABOUT OUR BLOGGER
Lisa Replogle has had a long, ever-changing journey in her relationship with Christ, and she is excited to share what she has learned along the way. She is a certified early childhood and special education teacher and currently teaches high school learning support. She spends her time outside of the classroom coaching Special Olympics Unified Sports and sharing her passion for dance with local groups for individuals who identify as disabled. Lisa and her husband, Russ, are the parents of seven-year-old identical twin boys who love to be active and outdoors.