YOU. DON’T. NEED. A. VACATION! That’s what many of us think is the antidote for our feeling overwhelmed at work or home. Many of us fantasize about how a trip will fix all our problems. But the reality is, that it is not going to help! Before you leave, you have hundreds of details to attend to and when you return from your trip it is worse. Nothing in your situation in your normal life has changed. Plus you have all that catching up to do, not to mention the laundry and unpacking. Am I the only one that ends up with a partially unpacked suitcase in their bedroom for a week afterwards?
So what is the answer to the burnout that you may be experiencing?
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and with that in mind, I want to acknowledge that burnout is a real thing. According to the American Psychological Association, burnout is: physical, emotional, or mental exhaustion accompanied by decreased motivation, lowered performance, and negative attitudes toward oneself and others. The symptoms that you may experience include cynicism, anger, irritability, lethargy and depression, not to mention the physical characteristics that include headaches, gastrointestinal disorders, muscle tension, hypertension, more susceptibility to colds and the flu, and sleep disturbances. There is some debate whether burn out is part of depression or its own diagnosis, but it is clear that they are closely linked and interconnected.
One key aspect of burnout is feeling stuck in a situation that seems like it will never change. This can be as an employee, as a parent (especially of a child with special needs), a caregiver for an elderly parent or even in a relationship. This person loses track of their purpose and feels they are powerless over a situation. Oftentimes burnout is also associated with feelings of isolation either because there isn’t anyone around or because the person doesn’t feel connected or fulfilled by the people in their environment.
So what is the answer? Control what you can! Set boundaries in the situation. Decide how many hours you will give and then stick to it. You have to set boundaries around your life. One of the problems brought on by the pandemic is that the boundaries became so blurred for people. They weren’t just working from home, they were living at work. It is time to re-establish those boundaries. Whatever your situation, if you are feeling burnout, boundaries would help because it gives you a sense of some control and limits.
Consider the following factors to decrease your burnout:
Add some pleasure into your life. Vacations will not get you through but daily experiences of pleasure will. What can you do that will bring you joy each day? Call a friend, read for 20-30 minutes, go to Bible study, take a walk. These things are important. When I first started my private practice, I was working long days but when I got in the car to go home at night, I often reminded myself: “At least I worked out and spent time with Jesus this morning.” Doing those things before work reminded me that it wasn’t all work. There was still time for me.
Community is another important aspect of protecting yourself from burnout. We were created for relationship, so people can help you to feel better. Whatever situation you feel yourself “trapped” in, a friend will make it easier. Plan a lunch date with a friend or co-worker during the workday, or if you can’t leave your house because of caregiving, ask someone to come sit with you. Make time for your people because you matter.
I know you may be tired of hearing it but the physical and mental health benefits of exercise can’t be denied. It is good for you! Research shows that exercise improves mood and decreases anxiety. I’m not talking about becoming a marathon runner or bodybuilder, but at least take a walk with a friend or do an exercise video. This small action will remind you that there is more to life than the situation in which you feel trapped.
Mindfulness. Be present in the other areas of your life. Be fully focused on your friends and family when you are with them. Feel the sunshine on your face. Notice the good in your life and don’t allow the situation to steal all your joy. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 says, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.” Noticing the life around you, seeing the good and thanking God for it is life changing. Research has shown that these expressions of gratitude can actually change the wiring in your brain to go in a more positive direction.
The point is that burnout is a real issue for many people. The antidote includes setting boundaries and controlling what you can. I recently worked with a client who was completely miserable in her work environment. She felt completely overwhelmed by it. After a few months, she was able to see that most of her issues with her job were her own lack of boundaries at work and lack of focus on the rest of her life. Doing the above four things can make a real difference. When they are part of your daily life, it will be easier to assess the situation and see if you need to make a change.
Last but not least is to consider how much weight we put on what we do, or even how we serve. Are we looking for fulfillment in something other than God? Our purpose should come from our relationship with Christ. We were made to be in relationship with Him and to glorify Him with our lives. How is it glorifying to live a miserable existence or to live an unbalanced life?
I don’t have one specific Biblical example about burnout, but I can tell you that I do NOT envision Jesus living a harried, overwrought miserable life. We have examples of Him taking time to be alone (Mark 1:35, Luke 5:16); examples of Him spending time with His closer friends (Mark 9:2-3, Luke 9:18, John 13-17); and examples of Him resting (Mark 4:38, 6:31-32). We know that He exercised because He walked everywhere! We know that even though He was extremely busy, He spent time in prayer with the Father (Luke 5:16, Luke 22:39-44).
I just returned this morning from a vacation at the Grand Canyon, where I had the opportunity to do all those same things that Jesus modeled. It was good for the soul! To clarify, vacations are a good thing, they just aren’t the answer for burnout!
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11;28-30.
ABOUT OUR BLOGGER
Bonnie Kotler and her husband Mitch have two daughters, three sons, four grandchildren and three grand-puppies. She was a stay-at- home mom for many years before re-entering the workforce after receiving her M.S. in Counseling and Human Relations from Villanova University. She is a licensed professional counselor at The Peacemaker Center and her own private practice, True North Counseling. Bonnie has been on the Willowdale women’s ministry teaching team since 2012. Bible studies have played a key role in her walk as a believer, and in turn, she loves to help other women find their peace with God and grow in their faith. She enjoys writing Bible study materials, reading fiction, spending time with family and doing anything in the sunshine. Bonnie loves to laugh and considers laughter as the best medicine. Psalm 126:2