My focus during Lent this year has been to seek more of Jesus in my daily life. In my moving around the house, driving in my car, in my conversations, as I discipline my children, as I listen to my friends. I felt a need not to give something up but to make more room for why we even recognize this time of year.
The first thing I started adding into my routine is meditating and praying in the quiet, praising God for who He is. Sometimes I find myself lying awake in bed or arising early and just sitting in the stillness. I often recite Psalms in prayer:
“I love you, O Lord, my strength.
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised.
Psalm 18:1-3
These descriptors of what an amazing God and Savior we serve brought me to realize how incredible He truly is! What a beautiful song, the author, David, gives us to praise God. The more I read this Psalm over and over, I linger on a word describing God and let it reverberate in my heart.
I continue the meditation, reading my Bible and singing to God, but if I am honest, I still feel empty at times. It is as if verses are staring up at me, without meaning, through my mundaneness. There have been days when I cried out praying for Him to draw me in deeper. I wanted to experience Jesus in a fresh way.
And you know when you ask, God always shows up, but not necessarily in ways you expect.
I have five children. Their ages span from eight to seventeen years old: four girls and one boy. It took a very difficult situation in the past few weeks with one of them for me to see “more Jesus” in a way I didn’t even expect.
Without going into details, I’ll just say the situation was grim, and I prayed and pleaded with God to work and move for His glory and our good. I was away for the weekend at the IF Gathering, a Christian women’s conference in Dallas, where there were a lot of great speakers and awesome praise and worship music. When I arrived there, I was numb with fear and hopelessness. I texted my Bible study and core friends to pray over the circumstance, and I was met with encouragement and prayer from them. The conference started, and as soon as I started offering God praise, I felt His presence, asking me to trust Him, hearing His offer of protection and His faithfulness. In faith, I surrendered the circumstance to Him. There was a lot of pleading, asking for help and begging for mercy. I knew I needed to trust him without knowing what the outcome would be for my family. Fully leaning on him, I prayed constantly that weekend.
I flew home from the conference and as soon as I got off the plane, God began to reveal His undeserving favor on my child. Each scenario that has played out of this awful circumstance has been another instance of God showing up and revealing to us that He is the God who redeems the bad. He takes our mess-ups and failures and turns them into something we can learn from, grow in, while giving Him the glory He deserves. I began seeing Jesus’ forgiveness right before my eyes and saw how even in our valleys, He is there. My child and I saw before our eyes the redemption offered that we do not deserve.
I’m still in awe of how He worked. I have not stopped sharing with anyone that will listen. This desire for “more Jesus” not only meant more Jesus in my life but also a chance for me to testify to how He worked in our family. It was an opportunity for me to give God’s grace, love, and mercy away.
As we near Easter, I continue to be reminded in my life and see it in each of my children, how much we need Jesus. We are fallen sinners so in need of His grace. Aren’t we so grateful He took on the penalty that we deserve?
As I learned, “more Jesus” does not mean that we will not see trials. But John 16:33 promises He has already overcome the world and He will be with us.
I hope to keep these quiet meditations as part of my daily spiritual practice, and I encourage you to join me in finding ways to add more Jesus in your life, whatever that means for you!
If you are going through a difficult time, another way to find “more Jesus” is to reach out to Willowdale Chapel’s deacon team or a close friend and have them pray with you over your circumstance to support you in your hardship. We are not meant to go through life alone. The encouragement from the body of Christ to point us to our God gives us more of Jesus too.
ABOUT OUR BLOGGER
Susan Veenema and her husband, Jeremy, love exploring Chester County with their two older biological daughters and three adopted children. Susan has been in education for almost 20 years supporting children with disabilities and their families. She currently works at the Department of Education.
One of her greatest joys is leading Thursday night women's Bible study and her couples community group. People are her passion. She loves to read, write and study everything from history to social sciences to the early church.
You'll always find her trusty German Shorthaired Pointer by her side.
WILLOWDALE WORSHIP NIGHT: KENNETT CAMPUS
Join us during this Lenten season for a church-wide, family friendly, evening of worship and prayer on Friday, March 24 at 7:00 p.m. at the Kennett Campus. God is at work in our midst in many ways and we want to gather as a church to thank Him, to exalt and adore Him, and to boldly seek more of Him. Willowdale musicians from all campuses will come together to lead us in worship and there will be moments of guided and pastoral prayer throughout. Please come with open arms and expectant hearts that we will see more of God’s goodness in our community. We hope to see you all there!