May is Mental Health Awareness Month. We’ll have various bloggers writing about different aspects of mental health over the course of the next few weeks. We hope that what is shared will be meaningful and helpful to you.

For almost 30 years, I’ve lived with a clinical diagnosis of a mental health condition. For the first half of my life after hearing the words “bipolar disorder,” I hid under an umbrella of shame not wanting anyone to know. It felt like a shadow looming over me as I navigated developing a sleep cycle while everyone else could stay out late as they wanted. I struggled with weight gain as the medication I took added more than a few pounds. It was as if I was hiding this secret that would mean losing my friends’ and family’s trust in my abilities and competence. I didn’t want anyone to know and lamented, “Why me, Lord, why?”

I found myself clinging to the Psalms in desperation:

O Lord, you alone are my hope.
    I’ve trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.
Yes, you have been with me from birth;
    from my mother’s womb you have cared for me.
    No wonder I am always praising you!

My life is an example to many,
because you have been my strength and protection.

Psalm 71:5-7

Verse seven says despite what I feel, my life is an example because of Him! It shows His strength and protection; my life story is not something I have to be or do. My diagnosis does not define my life’s worth.

Being in his Word and building relationships with caring new people allowed me to open up my circle. I finally got comfortable sharing about my mental health condition.

I grew more and more in my confidence of who I am in Christ:

A daughter of the King who loved me enough to die on a wooden tree at Calvary.
A child of God, who was created in His Image.
A friend who was gifted with the Fruits of the Spirit because of my relationship with a triune God.

I am enabled not because of who I am, but formed wholly and set free because He is everything and all that we need. When we come into the kingdom of God, we receive all the spiritual blessings offered by God’s goodness. This has become important for me to remember despite my feelings or mood. I also learned that God uses even my weakest parts to grow closer to Him, further the kingdom, and even give Him glory with my tiny offerings.

My encouragement to all those living with or learning about mental health is to rely on God first and foremost. Anchor yourself in the gracious love and peace that can be only found in Him.

But also, pair your relationship with God with a good mental health professional and, when needed, medication. It does not make you less. Or weak. Or crazy. Or ill. We need to replace these words we tell ourselves or hear in society with the way our God sees us.

Lovely. Whole. Complete.

ABOUT OUR BLOGGER

Susan Veenema and her husband, Jeremy, love exploring Chester County with their two older biological daughters and three adopted children. Susan has been in education for almost 20 years supporting children with disabilities and their families. She currently works at the Department of Education. One of her greatest joys is leading Thursday night women's Bible study and her couples community group. People are her passion. She loves to read, write and study everything from history to social sciences to the early church. You'll always find her trusty German Shorthaired Pointer by her side.