I have been haunted for days by a scene from a show I was watching. I am going to try to paint this picture for you without spoiling any future viewing.
In this scene on The Chosen, two people who shared a deep bond of love were running from the Roman authorities when one of them was run through with a sword. (Trying not to say who here so as not to spoil it for the fans!) The loved one stood by weeping, helpless, desperate as life seeped from his beloved. It was so sad to imagine that they would be separated by death.
This scene really grabbed me, because I could physically feel the man’s grief. Then, finally! Jesus arrived on the scene and the person begged him to heal the dying companion. I felt relief flood through my body because I knew Jesus could fix this! But alas, it was not meant to be. Jesus took in the scene. He saw the grief of the person, in fact, you could tell that He felt it too. Jesus’ face was contorted in sadness as He looked on. His face showed His understanding of the situation and the sadness that He felt. You could see that Jesus had compassion for the devastation that His friend was feeling. However, He did not heal the person. As I watched the scene, I realized that even though it was evident that Jesus cared He wasn’t going to fix the situation.
In one mind blowing moment, I realized that Jesus both knew and cared and yet, somehow it didn’t fit into His plan to save the dying person. I can’t begin to explain to you why this kind of thing happens. I understood in that moment that God can’t always give us what we want but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t feel our pain. He has a greater plan than I can imagine.
This scene on the show was a gift to me. I think the reason this struck me so deeply, so profoundly, is because I have been struggling with a prayer as yet unanswered. (I also realize I have shared this before in the blog, but it’s my everyday reality so it comes up a lot.) It has been over 40 years that I have waited for my husband to say yes to Jesus. In my dark days, I wonder if God doesn’t care. And yet, I KNOW that he sees and understands. I believe His face is contorted with grief for my situation too. I believe He hurts with me and wants things to be different. And yet, for some reason, it is not His plan at this time to do this thing.
The idea of Jesus being with us even as He says “no” was something for me to think about. As a parent, this should be easy to understand. We often tell our children “NO” for their own good. We know that they can’t always have everything they want when they want it. I have to be willing to accept that God has a plan and I don’t know all of it. I don’t see the big picture but I have to believe that the God who sees all knows what He is doing. Isaiah 55:8-9 says:
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts higher than your thoughts.
Somehow I think we equate (subconsciously perhaps) answered prayer with God being with us and unanswered prayer as if we called and got the voicemail – “I’m sorry I’m away from my phone right now, but if you leave your name and number, I will get back to you… in 45 years!” This “with-ness” of God is important. He is with us in the yes-prayers and in the no-prayers. Perhaps even more in the no-prayers. He is grieving right alongside us. After all, God’s original intent was not all this pain and imperfection.
I love the way that the book of Matthew is bookended at both the beginning and end with the concept that God is with us. In Matthew 1:23, we are told that Jesus will come and he will be called Immanuel – God with us. And then at the very end of the book it says: “I am with you always, even until the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20
What unanswered prayers are you struggling with? Infertility? Healing? Singleness? Loved one with disease or addictions? Loved ones who are far from God? Jesus sees you. He feels your pain. You are not alone.
Just as Jesus stood next to His friend and grieved alongside him, He is with me. He is with you. Jesus did a lot of amazing miracles when He was on earth. He healed many people, but He did not heal everyone. He didn’t just come to give us what we want. His ways are higher than our ways. His plans are greater. We have to allow him to be with us in the heartache and know that He hears and He cares!
ABOUT OUR BLOGGER
Bonnie Kotler and her husband Mitch have two daughters, three sons, seven grandchildren and three grand-puppies. She was a stay-at-home mom for many years before re-entering the workforce after receiving her M.S. in Counseling and Human Relations from Villanova University. She is a licensed professional counselor at The Peacemaker Center and her own private practice, True North Counseling. Bonnie has been on the Willowdale women’s ministry teaching team since 2012. Bible studies have played a key role in her walk as a believer, and in turn, she loves to help other women find their peace with God and grow in their faith. She enjoys writing Bible study materials, reading fiction, spending time with family and doing anything in the sunshine. Bonnie loves to laugh and considers laughter as the best medicine. Psalm 126:2