March 1, 1985, I came in like a lion, as I’m sure my mom can attest. Much to my parent’s surprise I arrived three weeks early, probably the first and last time I was early for anything.
In case you didn’t happen to do that math, this year marks my 40th birthday. Growing up I remember throwing “Over the Hill” parties for aunts and uncles, complete with black streamers and balloons when they turned 40. Now that I’ve arrived at this age, I can tell you with much certainty that I would not have appreciated that!
But it’s a milestone birthday to be sure, bringing with it a certain amount of introspection and reflection. It makes sense to take stock, to review accomplishments and failures. As I did this, I began to realize that it was God, not me, who was central to all of it. Looking back, I can so easily see His hand and faithfulness in everything. I’d like to share just a few examples of who God has been to me over the years, with the hope that by the end you too will want to exclaim “Wow, God- look what You’ve done!”
Healer:
When I was in fourth grade my appendix burst, and I had to have emergency surgery. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was very sick and had several complications. I was in the hospital for almost a week, but it wasn’t long before I was back in school, resuming life as usual. I have no doubt that God was with me and helped me to heal from this serious medical scare.
Protector:
One summer morning while in middle school, my mom and I were in the car, half a mile from home, when a car ran a stop sign and hit us. I remember hyperventilating as my mom tried to get me to focus on getting out of the car. We were able to climb out with minor injuries and everyone in the other car was ok. Afterward, looking at the damage to the car, it was miraculous that we all walked away relatively unharmed. Even at that young age I realized my mom and I could have easily died, and God had protected us.
Restorer:
High school was hard for me. I dealt with insecurities and felt left out. I would cry on my way to school, wondering how I was going to get through another day of anxiety, tired of trying to navigate the social scene that my peers seemed to do so effortlessly. I struggled with an eating disorder and figuring out my identity outside of that was hard. I was involved in all the extracurricular activities: sports, band, musicals, clubs and church youth group, but I often felt lonely and like I didn’t belong.
Senior year could not come soon enough. I was ready for a fresh start at college and God gave me that in ways I never could have imagined. I finally fought back against the eating disorder, determined not to let it ruin one more minute of my life. I made amazing lifelong friends and began to thrive socially and spiritually. For the first time in a long time I felt like I could be myself and relax into the person God had made me to be. God took all the pieces of my broken identity and slowly began to restore me and shape me more and more into His image.
Sustainer:
Mental illness has been a struggle for me since I was young. A combination of obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression and anxiety have been pretty much a constant in my life. I am so grateful for therapy, medication and supportive family and friends, but this has been, to quote Paul, a thorn in my side. I have prayed and asked God to heal me and to take it away, and while He hasn’t done that, He has sustained me. He has given me strength when I don’t have anything left. He has lifted me up when I’m in the pit of despair. He is walking with me, letting me lean on Him, every step of the way.
Provider:
In 2017, I applied to be an Aftercare Fellow with International Justice Mission. I turned in my application at the end of summer and didn’t get confirmation that I would be going to South Asia until spring of 2018…and I needed to arrive there by early summer. This, of course, was not a paid fellowship and I needed to raise support for the year I’d be gone. It seemed insurmountable as the fundraising had to be done within a few months. But God. I still am amazed at how He moved in people’s hearts to give so generously. So much so that when I decided to extend my time for six more months, I didn’t have to do any more fundraising. He provided in a way that I never could have imagined.
Comforter:
A little over two years ago, I got the phone call you never want to get. My younger brother was on the line, explaining to me that our dad had been killed at an accident at work. Many prayers and God’s grace got my family and me through the days that followed: a blur of friends and family, visitation and a memorial service. This flurry of activity and grieving among those close to me and my family soon ended as I headed back to Pennsylvania and found myself very much alone and hurting. I have an amazing, supportive group of friends here, but coming back from work each day to an empty apartment was hard. God did not hit “fast forward” and allow me to bypass the pain and grief like in many ways I wish He would have. But He didn’t leave me alone to face it. Often as tears stream down my face and grief hits so sharp it takes my breath away, I can feel Him with me, comforting me, grieving with me, sitting with me in the pain.
Faithful:
I became a Christian at a young age and was baptized as a teenager. During my later years in college, though, I wrestled with making my faith my own. I questioned everything and had so many doubts and uncertainties. I just didn’t know what I believed and if I did believe, then why? There wasn’t an “ah-ha” moment where it all made sense, but I eventually did come to a place of peace with not understanding everything and made the decision to trust God with all of it. And while I might have strayed, God never left. He was faithful throughout, even when I was the most distant.
There are many more examples I could share, but these stood out as I reflected on the past 40 years. I’d encourage you to not wait until a milestone birthday to look back on all God has done in your life. It’s often hard to see in the moment, but in retrospect you can see that His hand is unmistakably in everything. Through all the pain, joy, disappointment, and accomplishments, He is constant. Take time to praise Him for all He has done.
Here are three songs that came to mind as I wrote this.
ABOUT THE BLOGGER:
Danielle (Dani) Rupp grew up in a small town in Ohio and is a true Buckeye fan, though she tries not to be obnoxious about it. In 2011 she came to PA to earn her Master of Social Work degree and has since made Kennett Square her home. In her free time, Dani enjoys going on mission trips/traveling, reading, and connecting with loved ones—preferably over coffee and a sweet treat.